fighting over money issues


I know that a lot of people out there are feeling the effects of the economy. I know we are. This type of issue can put stress on any relationship, and it is very important to deal with the problem together. I found this article a while ago, and thought I would post it up for you.

How to Cope With Financial Arguments:
First, the main way to keep financial harmony is communication, communication, communication!
• Couples need to take the time to get to know and understand their partner. What experiences did they have with money growing up? How did their parents value money? Note what similarities and differences there are.
• Discuss future goals and dreams. How can both partners work together to achieve them?
• Know what kind of lifestyle the other is expecting to enjoy.
• When discussing money, only talk about money. Do not use it as an excuse to segue into other, unrelated arguments.
• Find a place or an activity that keeps everyone calm during money discussions, like during a hike, listening to music, or when the kids are asleep.
• Fight on behalf of each other. If there is something the other truly wants, work together to plan a way to make it possible. Otherwise, resentment festers.
• Neither spouse should be afraid to say what they are really thinking.
• Instead of focusing on past debts or issues, look forward. Couples should make a game plan targeting how they will work together as a team to resolve debt and save for the future.
• Couples should agree that they must both agree on major purchases before making them.
• Lastly, get outside, objective help. People are more likely to calmly represent their situation to a financial planner than they will be toward their own spouse.
(Found here: http://familyfinances.suite101.com/article.cfm/fighting_over_money)

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